Something being formed!

Dear all my beloved peoples and citizens,
You may leave me,
You may kill me.
You may destroy me,
You may humiliate me.
You may accuse me,
You may blame me.
You may hate me,
You may love me.
You may like me,
You may dislike me.
You may take care of me,
You may ignore me.
Whatever it is, I will be leaving all of you. At the same time, I will be taking care of all of you.

If I say like a child frankly, openly and honestly, something is being formed inside me, which is about "abandoning."

More and more, I would like to find the TRUTH of life (truth of human's life). I am 44 now. I find that none of money or so called education or positions is the truth of life, even not a true value of a human's life.

Let me tell you something that I have been trying to fix the wrong things (that I consider) in humanity with kind of method of carrot and stake, or, reward and punishment. I did. In their turns, some were / are happy with it, while some were / are getting hurt. Rather than that, I do not want to spend my time with giving rewards and punishments. I do not want to be living as a kind of judge of the world.
If I stay in this way, I do not believe that I can find the truth of life. The worst or sometimes funniest part of it is that I am regarded as a man, as a woman, as a courage man, as a fear person, as a kind man, as a stupid person, as an animal, as a gay, as an honest man, as a leader, as a villain, as the best, as the worst, as creator of good things, as an evil, etc.. etc.. (Some are systematically creating it. I know. I do know. But I will not tell you for many reasons.) Any way - Nothing is a real truth but totally depend on what you look, see, think, consider and feel from which side or corner you are in with what color of glass you wear!  Sometimes, I get anger. Sometimes, I laugh in my inside. But mostly, eventually and always, I forgive all of you about it with my patience and compassion. Again, it is all what you think, feel and consider; but not the truth about me. Sometimes, I even intently play on each of you. The truth that another thing what I found when I played around was that - none of you have that much tolerance, patience and understanding, which is greatness to establish true humans' world, but often and rather aggressive approach, which you all are good at. Some are much better than the others, in lying, creating (bad things), any way.

In current situation, very often or all the time, I have to love, I have to be loved; I have to kind of hate, I have to be hated; I have to like, I have to be liked; I have to dislike, I have to be disliked, etc... If I live in this way, I will never have a clear mind and pure heart. Then, how could I be able to find the truth of life? I will be living with a life of not too much different from an animal - eat, work, sleep, have sex, hate, love, like, dislike, happy, sad, rise, fall, cry, smile, greed, fight, and NOTHING else - simply die. So, what is the meaning of life ( a human's life)? What is the truth of life (a human's life)?

I will abandon one after another those addictions, which attached with me.
From now in the future, I will be living in personal freedom as an ordinary man. And I will be trying to find ways to approach to see the truth of life. I will try to write and practice my mind to become in the purest stage. You may love or hate each other; you may be trying to reward or punish each other; you may be trying to humiliate or praise each other. Whatever it is, I will leave it for you. You all are free to choose to love or hate, to praise or humiliate, to like or dislike, to reward or punish, to support or destroy. But please always try to remember this - all you give or launch or produce, will be coming back to you one way or another, sooner or later, directly or indirectly, even in many times of amount which you produced.

Because of you can systematically lie on the other people, you may consider by yourself as Such SMART. Dear my son, or, my daughter, you are about to be lied more systematically than the way you have created. All other things are also just like that, whether which is positive or negative, all things will be coming back to you / to me / to us. It is the law of universe. Nobody can avoid it. We all have to inevitably face it either individual or group; nationally or regionally.

I may become a mad man or nothing at all or die soon, or whatever. I will be trying to reduce all kinds of addictions one after another until I own my purest mind and heart.

Please forgive me or leave me alone. The color of my clothes will mean nothing at all. I regard all of you the same or nothing. By myself, I will be trying to erase all those levels.
I do not want to have any kind of love or hate or like or dislike on any of you. You all are my people, my friends, my parents, my teachers, my sons and my daughters.
I will simply live with whatever I earn and support my family. One day, I might also abandon my family. At the same time, I will be trying to abandon all my addictions of outside and inside. Later, I may be able to abandon all of my feelings and emotions, if I really try.

So, from today in future, please go on your own way! I am nobody. I am just an ordinary man who may become somebody in the mankind's history or who may become a fool man and die poorly.

Thank you for your understanding and please leave me alone!

With compassion on each of or all of you!